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Safety & Resources

Support, education, and community for consensual adults.

Emergency & Crisis Contacts

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out immediately.

  • TEXT

    Crisis Text Line

    Text HOME to 741741

  • CALL

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

    Call or text 988

  • CALL

    RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline

    1-800-656-4673

Resource Categories

Consent Education

  • National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

    ncsf.org — Advocacy and education for consensual adults

  • Consent Academy

    Resources for understanding and practising consent

Risk-Aware Practices

  • FetLife Safety Resources

    Community safety guidelines

  • The New Topping Book / The New Bottoming Book

    Foundational texts by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy

Mental Health

  • AASECT Therapist Directory

    aasect.org — Find sexuality-trained therapists

  • Kink Clinical Practice Guidelines

    Professional resources for kink-aware therapy

  • Psychology Today

    Filter by "kink-friendly" in therapist search

Community

  • FetLife

    Online community for kink-interested adults

  • Local Munches

    Safe, public meetups for newcomers — a low-pressure way to meet community

Aftercare Guidance

Aftercare refers to the care and attention given to all participants after a scene or intense experience. It helps everyone return to a grounded emotional state and strengthens trust between partners.

Physical

  • Warm blankets and comfort items
  • Water and light snacks
  • Gentle physical touch or distance
  • Rest and warmth

Emotional

  • Check-ins and verbal reassurance
  • Quiet decompression time
  • Affirming words and presence
  • Following up the next day

For Tops/Doms Too

  • Aftercare goes both ways
  • Top drop is real and valid
  • Check in with yourself too
  • Ask what you need as well

Next Steps

Conversation Starters with Partners

  • "What's something you've always been curious about but haven't tried?"
  • "What does a good scene feel like for you — what do you need to feel safe?"
  • "Are there any hard limits we should establish before we start?"
  • "What's your preferred safeword system, and how will we check in?"
  • "What does aftercare look like for you?"
  • "How do you feel about sharing our profiles with each other?"

Journaling Prompts

  • What draws me to certain kinks — is it the physical sensation, the dynamic, or something else?
  • How does fantasy differ from what I'd want in practice, and what does that tell me?
  • What would I need to feel completely safe exploring something new?
  • Are there past experiences shaping my interests, positively or negatively?
  • What values are most important to me in any intimate encounter?
  • What would I want a future partner to know about me from the start?

Recommended Reading

  • The Ethical Slut — Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy. A foundational text on non-monogamy, consent, and ethical intimacy.
  • Different Loving — Gloria Brame et al. A comprehensive exploration of BDSM and kink from practitioners' perspectives.
  • Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns — Philip Miller & Molly Devon. A practical guide to BDSM for beginners.
  • Playing Well with Others — Lee Harrington & Mollena Williams. On community, consent, and kink culture.
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